(Present)

I don't know what time it was in the morning. Outside, voices of people and chirping of birds were heard as it was not seemed early morning but I was still laying on the bed blankly staring at the cieling.

My mind was swirling around the same night before three years ago , each word , each tear was replaying infront of me like it was just yesterday.

My throat tightened, eyes burned but tears refused to come. My mind was again going on that afternoon when bhaiya told maa that he is coming.

But why ? Was not he promised me he will show his face to me ? Did he forgot about my promise or he just didn't considered it.

"Radhika beta uth gayi ? " I startled hearing bhabhi 's voice

I gasped and hurriedly get out of the bed , moving toward the door to open .

There she was standing with concern written all over her face.

"What happened, are you okay?" bhabhi asked as her hand moved to my forehead checking temperature.

Maybe I was looking dull .

"H-haa thik hoon bas aise hi" I said forcing a smile but by seeing her face anyone can tell she was not convinced but still didn't push me further and told me to come and have breakfast .

I nodded and moved inside to take shower with regular routine.

Yes we had washrooms in our room except maa as being orthodox, she still think having washroom in house is impure but bhaiya made her understand and made washrooms in our siblings room.

And made one outside the home, in verandah so maa has not to go outside .

Having bhaiya in my life , I am grateful . After Baba death he never let me that I don't have baba, he always made sure I and rudra bhaiya have the fatherly love.

Even he let me study because he thinks every person has the right to study and he made me . At first maa protested that I am a girl , I didn't need all this but bhaiya , he fought literally with maa and yeah, he was always there for me and last year I gave my inter exams and I thought to stop studying as it was enough aur waise bhi padh kar kaunsa hi pahad ukadh lungi.

And I am ready. Wearing salwar kameez with duppata , I moved downstairs and there bhabi was making something .

I moved forward to look and it was kheer and I swear , I had water in my mouth looking at it.

"This looks so good bhabhi" hearing me bhabhi chuckled and shook her head and pointed her finger on her right, there was a plate laying covered with plate.

"Jao aur nashta karlo , sabne kar liya hai, tum hi rhe gayi bas "

I nodded my head and moved to the right and took the plate . Sitting down on the ground and started eating . Bhabhi gazed me with a smile and again got into her work

I was eating as my whole focus was on my food well it's my habit from the start I eat food with my whole focus so that I am little golu molu you can say.

Thodi hi hoon jyada nhi. ( Samjhte ho na).

"Accha Radhika" bhabhi said as my focus went to her

I raised my eyebrows in question as she began.

"Wo jo dost as rahe ho inke tum un logon ko janti ho". My body went stiff hearing her, a lump formed in my throat as her entire focus shifting on me .

I cleared my throat and words seemed to stuck in my throat.

"Hhaa thoda bohut janti hoon wo bhaiya ke purane dost hai college ke time se , viraj naam hai unka " hearing me, bhabhi nodded her head and got into cutting vegetables as they were coming today.

I hurriedly finished my breakfast which seemed like thorns to my throat . And started washing the dishes.

I wiped my hand in my duppataa before settling down to knead dough.

As we were almost with prepration when we heard sounds from outside.

Bhaiya and maa was there and maybe they were here too.

Bhabhi took his pallu and covered her head and little moved outside to see .

And as I said they had came . Bhabhi took the glasses and filled with chilled water from earthen pot and moved outside before covering her face.

Meanwhile I sat stiffly inside , I can heard him. my body was jolting with something as I heard his voice.

I tried to divert my attention but can't do so decided to fry puris.

I placed the wok on the stove and pour oil in it.

By then the oil was getting hot so I started rolling the puriya.

I slowly started frying the puris and with rolling down the puris.

I heard jiggling of anjekts as I tilted my head and saw bhabhi coming, she smiled at me and sat down beside me taking rolling pin from my hand .

Now bhabhi was rolling the puris and I was frying them. after fifteen minutes we were done with the puris and some last touch up too.

"Radhika jao ,maaji ko ek baar boldo ki khana taiyaar hai "bhabhi said as my eyes widened and I shook my head immediately.

She looked me with a frown and asked

"What happened ?"

"Nothing bhabhi please can you go instead of me as I am not feeling well" I said gulping a lump formed in my throat.

Bhabhi slowly nodded before caressing my head and asking my health about.

After some time ,bhabhi came and asked me to spread a mat on the floor just outside the kitchen.

I nodded my head and did what she said and took the small tables for plates .

I was arranging the tables as I heard sound of steps, indicating they are coming.

I hurriedly went inside the kitchen before even his shadow could see me.

Bhabhi was serving them as I was sitting inside the kitchen and refilling the pots and jugs.

I can hear them talking about politics, city life and about his baby.

We sat for lunch after the men had left for fields after the lunch.and his baby was still sleeping in the verandah while maa was sitting beside him.

I was really not looking at his baby but still my gaze went there everytime , he was small maybe five to six months. His little hands peeking out from his blanket as he slept away from the world chaos.

I took the plate and got up to wash hands and dishes too. It took me not so long as bhabhi too helped.

I dry my hands from my duppata and going toward my room for a nap maybe as my mind was occupied with many things.

As I passed the verandah saw maa was not there only the baby was sleeping. I hesitated as leaving baby alone here but I don't care, it not like it's my baby and I turned to my room but

Suddenly a small yet piercing wail came and I turned , there that little human woke up. What should I do? should I pick him up in my arms? nno no ...

Maa ko bulati hoon

I called maa many times and bhabhi was not there too aggghhh

I slowly went near the cot and it made me awww , he was cute I slowly picked him up in my arms. I Started swinging him with sweet nothing to his ear. But he was not stopping

May be he was hungry, that thought crossed my mind before picking his feeder from the cot.

I boiled the milk few hours ago so it was still warm .

I made my way to kitchen with him in my one arm and other had his feeder.

I sat down on the floor and him on my lap I slowly swinging him on my lap while I pour the milk into his bottle, it was slightly warm as it was covered properly .

I put little jaggery before closing it and shaking it well.

I took the bottle to his mouth and he latched on it I sighed in relief as his cries died with the soft suckling sound.

He was looking cute when he look at me for a second with a smile and again latching on the bottle. My heart did flips and a strange warmth filled in with me.

It felt good. Maybe it was a mother feeling a girl feel, you know.